


Just let me suffer in peace

by Tinglecannon



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Awkwardness, Bickering, F/M, Fluff, Getting to Know Each Other, Humor, Lots of inner monologue and panicking courtesy of Bernadetta, Pre-Relationship, Sickfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-27
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2020-09-27 20:07:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20413567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tinglecannon/pseuds/Tinglecannon
Summary: "Please, please,please, I ambeggingyou, Ferdinand, justleave me alone!" Bernadetta whines as loud as her hoarse voice will allow."I could never, for what kind of noble would I be to ignore a fellow classmate in need?" Ferdinand's voice carries through the door with ease, booming clear and confident as always. "Please open the door, Bernadetta."---Or, Bernadetta is sick and Ferdinand insists on helping.





	Just let me suffer in peace

**Author's Note:**

> I love FE3H so much and I fell helplessly in love with Fernadetta, their supports are so cute and it follows my trend of shipping "purple and orange opposites" in FE games.
> 
> Anyway I am weak for sickfics and this was only gonna be like 1k but then I wrote over 4k like a lunatic, so I'm gonna just post it now before I keep second guessing it. I tried really hard to keep it in character and made references to a few of their supports with each other and other characters. Enjoy!

Bernadetta, unfortunately, doesn't have the best immune system. 

She's no stranger to the passing of sickness every few months; the pressure in her face as her nose clogs and her throat tightens with flem, the waves of nausea rolling over her as she lies in bed, overheating and freezing all at once, unable to eat even the blandest, smallest amount of food but abdomen contorting in pain for not eating anything. It's a small hell she is strongly acquainted with. Yet even all of her worst symptoms combined are _ nothing _ compared to the deep, heavy coils of anxiety that line the pit of her stomach and weigh her entire body down whenever she must venture outside, screaming and clawing at her insides to retreat back to the safety of her room.

Bernadetta has always managed her health problems on her own. All of them. Always. Until---

"Please, please, _ please_, I am _ begging _ you, Ferdinand, just _ leave me alone_!" Bernadetta whines as loud as her hoarse voice will allow.

Bernadetta's leaning heavily against the door. It's a vain attempt to keep it shut tight despite knowing the golden sliding lock above her head is already handling that. It's not that she fears Ferdinand would barge in without consent, he's _ far _ too concerned about manners for something like that, but well...it _ has _ happened before. If her extra (much smaller than his) body weight can act as another barrier, than it's good enough for her!

Even though it wouldn't really do _ anything _ to stop him if he _ did _ decide to barge in.

She's pointedly ignoring that fact.

"I could never, for what kind of noble would I be to ignore a fellow classmate in need?" Ferdinand's voice carries through the door with ease, booming clear and confident as always. "Please open the door, Bernadetta."

She wants to throw her head back against the thick oak door in frustration. Will that do anything but worsen her pounding headache? No. Does she care? Also no. "No! Just, leave! I'm fine! I promise!"

"Bernadetta, you are most certainly not fine," Ferdinand scoffs. "You barely stayed awake for morning classes, you were coughing throughout the entirety of our afternoon lecture, and do not think I did not notice you skipping every meal today."

Bernadetta winces. _ He would notice all of that…ok, new tactic. _ "Um, you, uh, don't want to be here! You'll just get sick too!"

She could practically hear the arrogant smile on his face as he answered, "Ah, fear not! I brought a face mask with me, and I have an excellent immune system. I have not fallen ill in years!"

"Th-then aren't you overdue to??"

"That is not how illness works, Bernadetta," he replies in a flat tone.

Bernadetta groans loudly, finally letting her head fall against the door with a dull thud. It would _ almost _ be touching he is so hell-bent on helping her if she needed or wanted any. But she doesn't. And no amount of rejection is making him go away.

She knows this is a losing battle; Ferdinand is as stubborn as she is, plus he's in perfect health, so his resolve will last longer than her rapidly deteriorating one.

_ Of all the people who would insist on helping, it just _ ** _had_ ** _ to be him. _

"Bernadetta," Ferdinand pleas in a soft voice, "please, allow me to help."

Warmth tingles at the tips of her ears and gradually seeps further down her face, settling uncomfortably in her flushed cheeks and leaving her feeling even hotter than just a moment ago. 

Maybe it's the fever. Yeah, it must be. Definitely not the gentle way his deep voice said her name._ Wait, what? Pull it together, Bernie! Ferdinand is being annoying! _

"What can you even do, anyway?!" Bernadetta spits out with far more venom than she intended, fists clenching and unclenching and brows furrowed. 

She doesn't want to be rude, but she's getting desperate. She's exhausted and just wants to be alone (and forever ignore the intrusive thoughts about annoying-nag-Ferdinand and his stupid-pretty-voice, clearly twisted thoughts her brain conjured up in it's devilish fever haze). Being sick sucks.

Ferdinand either doesn't care or notice as he answers her with his usual cordial cadence. "It is true that I do not have access to healing spells, however I retrieved a few medicines from Professor Manuela that assist with colds. I have also brought chamomile tea and a bowl of chicken soup from the dining hall."

Bernadetta blinks owlishly before whipping her head to the side to stare wide-eyed at the door knob. " Y-you have all of that? W-why??"

"You looked quite miserable earlier, Bernadetta," He starts in a sympathetic tone, his voice gaining volume as he continues, "and I wish to assist as best as I can. It is my duty as a noble, after all."

Bernadetta chews on her bottom lip, gaze shifting down towards her feet. _ He's not going to go away no matter how much I tell him to. Maybe I can sprain his wrist agai- wait no, stop it, Bernie! Don't think like that! I don't need help! _

_ ... _

_ But… _

_ Maybe having someone care for once might be...nice. _

Bernadetta sucks in a deep, shaky breath before turning to face the door. She reaches a clammy hand up to slowly, _ slowly _ unlock the door, the sliding of metal on metal making a resounding _ click_, and pulls it open wide enough she can peer up at Ferdinand on the other side. 

He's standing directly in front of the door, holding a tray of various bottles, a tea cup, a glass of water, and a generous-sized bowl. Large streams of steam are still bellowing off the rims of the soup and tea, suggesting he came straight here from the dining hall. Her eyes flit up from the tray of (delicious, glorious, beautiful) food to his face, and the way a single well-groomed brow arches subtly in surprise doesn't go unnoticed. Bernadetta curses internally, realizing if she resisted a _ little _bit longer he might've given up altogether. 

But well. That thought is lost the moment the surprise on his face is replaced with a heartfelt smile that reaches his honey-colored eyes.

Bernadetta's knees buckle to keep her from falling flat on her butt. Her fever must be worse than she thought.

"Thank you for opening the door, Bernadetta. May I come in?" Ferdinand requests with all the good grace of a gentleman. 

_ This is my last chance to make him leave... _

Ferdinand merely keeps smiling at the smaller noble, as if he knows she won't turn him away now that he managed to get her to open the door. That in and of itself is a feat only accomplished a handful of times this school year; one time was so Byleth could check her room for Flayn when the girl had been kidnapped (in hindsight Bernadetta isn't sure it was necessary to check her room, but Seteth is scary on a good day so she compiled with the mandatory room searches). The other was when Ingrid literally _ knocked the door off the hinges_.

Goddess, that was horrifying.

Bernadetta heaves a raspy sigh in defeat, then moves away from the door to her bed and falls backwards diagonally onto it.

Ferdinand slips the white surgical face mask over his mouth and nose and promptly follows her inside with a tray of medicine and food. He leaves the door ajar (probably to not look suspicious being alone in a girl's room, not everyone's as shameless as Sylvain) but doesn't move much further into the room, opting to glance around first.

Bernadetta knows what he's going to say. She squeezes her eyes shut and desperately prays he won't. But, well, this _ is _ Ferdinand, so without missing a beat---

"...It is a pigsty in here."

"If you're gonna nag at me, just leave already!" Bernadetta huffs indignantly.

The problem is, he's not wrong; there are clothes and loose leaf paper tossed haphazardly on the floor, embroidery needles and thread of every color litter the desktop, and books are stacked haphazardly in a large pile on the floor by the foot of her bed. Perhaps she could have tidied up a little before letting neat-freak Ferdinand in, but well. The incessant pounding in her skull and how her throat has been burned raw by constant coughing fits _ far _ outweigh the concern for cleanliness.

Plus it's _ her _ room! It can be as messy as she damn well pleases!

"I apologize, you are correct. Now is not the time." He strolls further into the room, careful to not step on anything but the carpet, and slides the tray onto the far corner of her bedside table.

He delicately picks up each of the bottles and lines them up on the side of her table closest to the bed. There are two round bottles with cork lids and one smaller thin vial with a screw cap, the two bottles are dark glass with liquid inside, a similar appearance to a typical vulenary, while the thin vial holds what look like breath mints inside.

"Professor Manuela said these should help alleviate your symptoms. This one," he points at the leftmost bottle, "is for fevers, and this one," he moves his finger to the next one in the row, "is for nausea. These," he points at the thin vial on the end, "are for sore throat, they are honey lozenges and should help soothe irritation."

Bernadetta grunts in acknowledgement. Truthfully she won't remember which is which, but that's a problem for Future Bernie.

"Now then, sit up." Ferdinand is holding a spoon and the first bottle, gesturing for Bernadetta to come closer.

It takes a second to register what he said. When she does, she shakes her head with a mumbled, "Uh-uh."

"Bernadetta."

"I don't wanna..." She rolls over and snuggles into her pillow, burying her face out of view.

"You need to take the medicine and eat," Ferdinand says with a stern voice. The one he uses when he starts nagging at someone.

"I can eat and lie down."

"Oh? You can eat soup lying down?"

Bernadetta turns her face from her pillow to look at him. The mask is hiding most of his face, however she can see an eyebrow arched and the incredulous expression on his face clear as day. She huffs, then pushes herself up into a sitting position in the middle of the bed. "Happy?"

"I will be much more so when you start to feel better," Ferdinand replies easily, as if that wasn't super sweet of him to say.

"Until then, it is reasonable I will be about average happiness." He finishes off, ruining the previous statement with as much ease as he started it.

Bernadetta opens her mouth to quip back, or more likely complain, she hadn't decided yet, when he uncorks the bottle and positions it above the spoon. A rush of panic floods her body. "W-what are you doing??"

He stops and blinks at her. "Pouring out the medicine. Or do you not have a fever?"

"I-I mean, why are _ you _ pouring it?? Do you plan to, to _ s-spoon feed me_??!" She stammers, grabbing her pillow with much more force than necessary and holding it in front of her as a makeshift shield. If her face felt hot earlier it pales in comparison to the scorching heat taking over now. She's sure her face is as red as a tomato. 

_He's making my fever worse! I should've never let him in! _

"Well, not the soup. The medicine, yes," he nods. "Do you wish to pour out the measurements yourself?" Ferdinand holds the bottle and spoon out towards Bernadetta. 

She wastes no time tossing the pillow to the side as she scrambles closer, yanking them out of his gloved hands. "_Yes!_" She says and definitely does not squeak. No squeaking at all. None.

Ferdinand is polite enough to not comment.

Bernadetta holds the spoon in her right hand and the bottle in her left, stares at them both for a few seconds, then clumsily swaps hands to have the bottle in her dominant hand.

Ferdinand is, again, polite enough to not comment.

Bernadetta proceeds to tilt the bottle, inch by inch, slowly, carefully, with extreme precision worthy of a skilled archer such as herself.

The bottle slips.

She fumbles a little the moment the dark blue liquid meets the lip of the bottle and in her miscalculation pours a tiny amount of medicine out. Right onto her lap. Completely missing the spoon and staining her nightgown.

_ …Crap. _

There's a long pause as she stares a hole into her lap at the fresh blue stain. Eventually she silently reaches the bottle and spoon back out towards Ferdinand, too mortified to make eye contact. He thankfully, with as much mercy worthy of the Goddess herself, _ still _ doesn't comment. At all. Like a pure, wonderful, benevolent saint.

She knows it's not actually that big of a deal but she could cry.

Ferdinand gently plucks the items from her hands. He fills the spoon to the brim with the shiny, deep blue liquid effortlessly then replaces the bottle on the bedside table. He cups one hand underneath the spoon, ready to catch any spilled liquid on his pristine white gloves, and brings the utensil to Bernadetta's lips in one fluid motion.

"Say 'ah'," he commands with a soft tone.

Bernadetta is certain she's going to die from embarrassment.

It's a special level of shame having your classmate whose a higher ranking noble (and just an all around _better_ noble) than you spoon feed you. 

In your own bedroom.

After you spilled something on yourself.

In front of them.

And now you're sitting there staring at their stupid, handsome face as you're wearing stained pajamas, and have bedhead, and you probably look like death warmed over you.

_ Oh no. _

Bernadetta opens her mouth wide to scream, or cry, she hadn't decided yet, only to be silenced immediately as Ferdinand gracefully inclines the spoon up and dumps its contents into her mouth.

She clamps her mouth shut and squeezes her eyes closed as she swallows the medicine, the liquid tart and syrupy thick on her tongue.

Bernadetta coughs a couple of times, then fixes the intruder of her sacred bedroom with a harsh glare. Or so she hopes, she's never been very intimidating. "W-what was that for?!"

"I do not know what you mean," he shakes his head as he uncaps the second bottle, already turned away and preparing the second medicine. The cork making a soft _ pop _ noise as it's removed.

"You--- you didn't warn me!"

"That is not true, I said 'say ah'. Do you require more warning?" He asks in a non-accusatory, genuinely curious tone.

Bernadetta doesn't bother answering. She closes her eyes with a sigh and tries to fight the creeping feelings of inadequacy. _ It's ok you spilled some medicine, Bernie. This nightgown needs to be washed anyway. Ferdinand doesn't care...ok, he probably does, but his opinion on my pajamas doesn't matter! _

"Bernadetta."

She blinks her eyes open at his voice. He's positioned his hands the same as before, one holding the spoon and the other cupped underneath. "Are you ready?" She nods, but he doesn't move, instead inquiring again, "Are you sure?" She narrows her eyes and nods once more. "I want to make sure you have proper warning this time."

"I've been warned, thank you, Ferdinand, I'm ready." She can feel her cheeks reddening, it's embarrassing clarifying so many times. She regrets complaining before.

In fact, she regrets this entire interaction.

"Excellent," he nods. Finally he brings the spoon to her lips, and for whatever reason still commands, "Say 'ah'."

Bernadetta glowers at him, but obediently opens her mouth and drinks the gross liquid. 

"There, was that so bad?" He asks far too pleasantly.

"_Yes,_" Bernadetta grumbles, her brow still furrowed and a pout forming on her face.

Ferdinand laughs under his breath, a soft short chuckle, his eyes crinkling around the edges from smiling. The noise causes Bernadetta's heart to _ lurch._

Unfortunately (or thankfully?) it ends as suddenly as it began and he's already turned away to face the table, recapping the bottles and wiping the spoon dry on a napkin. Bernadetta wishes her pulse could stabilize as fast as he could stop laughing. 

Ferdinand picks up the tray of neglected food and tenderly slides it onto Bernadetta's lap. The steam trails are still visible, though not as much as a few minutes ago. Now that the food is directly in front of her she can smell the sweet notes of the tea and the savory, salty chicken in the soup. Bernadetta slides her eyes shut as she inhales deeply, then exhales with a happy hum. 

A booming, violent sounding grumble rips from her empty stomach at that exact moment.

Her eyes fly open and she gawks at Ferdinand with all the poise of a startled woodland creature. His eyebrows are up to his hairline and it's dead silent.

Until---

Ferdinand laughs out loud. He laughs in a lengthy, boisterous fit, his eyes twinkling and crinkled around the edges, and slaps a hand over his masked mouth in a poor attempt to stifle the noise. His face is turning red from the force of the sudden fit, spreading down the exposed column of his neck.

Bernadetta watches with awe. She's never seen Ferdinand be so…undignified.

It's _ adorable_.

And terrifying. So very terrifying.

_ Oh no...did I _ ** _break_ ** _ Ferdinand?! Bernie, what. Have. You. Done?? _

Her heart flutters in sync with each staccato of his laughing, and it genuinely relieves (and disappoints) her when the noise tapers off and he heaves a couple of deep gulps of air as he evens his breathing.

Ferdinand clears his throat and places a hand on his chest, not quite able to meet her eyes. "I am truly sorry. That was unbecoming behavior."

He looks absolutely ashamed...for all of a second. 

In a flash he straightens up and makes direct eye contact, the blush gone from his face and posture exuding confidence, leaving no sign he was ever flustered to begin with. "At any rate, you should eat. It is unhealthy to skip meals, Bernadetta."

"Yeah, yeah…" Bernadetta mumbles, gaze drifting down to the tray on her lap. _ Leave it to Ferdinand to ruin any moment by nagging… _

She doesn't dwell on her thoughts for long, picking up her spoon and sampling a small taste of soup. She hums in appreciation before shoveling the food into her mouth with gusto. Ferdinand either doesn't care or deems it unnecessary to remark on, instead pulling the wooden chair from the desk and turning it around to face her.

They sit in silence save the occasional slurping. It's pleasant.

Bernadetta is about halfway through the soup when she licks her lips, the salty flavor of the broth lingering on her tongue. "The soup is good."

"Ah, I am glad to hear it! I made it myself." He nods, his voice swelling with pride.

"...you...what?"

Ferdinand crosses his legs, resting his left hand on his knee and holding up his right as he spoke. "The only soup the dining hall had readily available tonight was a thick fish chowder. I believed that to be a poor choice for you to eat while ill, so I prepared this simple chicken and rice one."

Bernadetta clenches the spoon tightly in her hand as she stares at him, searching his eyes for any sign this was another weird joke of his.

"W-what?" She finally sputters. "W-w-why would you make me dinner?" 

"It was not complicated nor difficult, I am actually not bad at cooking. Much better than Edelgard at least." He nods to himself, voice smug as he adds the unnecessary jab at the future emperor.

There is a small lull before he speaks again. "As I said before, I wish to help you get better. If bringing you some medicines from the infirmary and preparing you soup and tea is what is required to do so, then I will happily do that."

Bernadetta blinks once. Twice. And then---

"A-are you crying??" Ferdinand's eyes are wide and he bolts up onto his feet.

"I..." Bernadetta sniffles loudly. She didn't even realize she was crying, but she does it so often she isn't even surprised when it happens anymore. It just sort of comes and goes and that's how it's been for years.

"I am truly sorry! Did I-- was it something I said? Bernadetta---" 

"Thank you..." She whispers, a broken sob overshadowing the words.

"...Come again?" Ferdinand leans in, turning his head in an attempt to hear better.

Bernadetta wipes her face on her sleeve, not caring about getting tears or snot on it. "N-no one has ever… C-cared...helped. Sick all the time b-b-but no o-one..." She hiccups. Her throat hurt and her head was spinning and it was too much.

His insistence to help. Him noticing she was ill and skipping meals. Going all the way to the infirmary for medicine. Making her dinner. Helping her take the medicine.

It was all just too much.

"Bernadetta..." Ferdinand sighs in that soft, tender voice that no one should speak to a failure like her with. "I am sorry you have not had someone to care for you before. I cannot imagine what it must have been like for you. However…"

He taps the tray a few times, until Bernadetta finally lowers her arm and looks up at him from under her wet lashes.

He has a finger holding the mask down under his chin, allowing his nose and mouth to be visible again. The smile on his face is so bright she feels the need to squint. "I promise on my honor as a noble to always help you to the best of my abilities. So...please do not cry, Bernadetta. I do not wish for you to be sad."

She sniffles, and wipes her face on her sleeve again, nodding absentmindedly. "O-ok. I'll t-try."

"Excellent!" His smile disappears behind the mask as he pulls it back up over the tip of his nose. "Now, I believe you must be exhausted. Finish as much soup and tea as you can before bed. You may leave the tray outside your door and I will retrieve it later. Take a lozenge before bed as well, and if you need more of the liquid medicines, Professor Manuela advised not to exceed three spoonfuls in one day. Understood?"

Bernadetta nods. She's far too tired to speak any more.

Ferdinand moves away from the bed and towards the door. He has already stepped outside the threshold and is about to close the door shut behind him when Bernadetta calls out to him.

"W-wait!"

He stops and looks at her expectantly. 

"I, um. Eh, well." Bernadetta stumbles, desperate to make sense but her sick-addled brain is too overwhelmed to do so. "Yeah. Thanks. It, y'know?? Sorry..."

Ferdinand chuckles, so quiet it almost goes unheard, which would be a shame in her completely unbiased opinion. "You are welcome, Bernadetta. Now, please get some rest. Goodnight." 

The door closes with a faint thud, and once again Bernadetta is alone. She looks down at the tray of now cold food.

_ So that's what it's like. _

Bernadetta smiles to herself, and sets about finishing the remaining soup and drinking a little over half the tea. She scrubs her face on her sleeve once more before hopping up to leave the tray outside the door and finally crawling under the covers. 

The moment her head hits the pillow she's out, and for the first time in a long time she has pleasant dreams of sweet promises and bright smiles.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally I had Ferdinand very blatantly teasing Bernadetta during the helping her take medicine part but it felt too OOC for him so I rewrote it a couple of times. I almost took the laugh scene out too but I really liked it, so it stayed haha. I have plans for other little one shots for this pair and a few others, FE3H is just amazing y'all.  
Hope you enjoyed! Comments and kudos are sweet.


End file.
